Stand-up has the best writers, because it's the hardest writing by a million miles.

I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.

Few people love with the violence they hate.

All my life's about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn't cost very much money.

The character of giving advice often makes us accountable for the conduct of those we advise.

You're used to a TV show, and TV is just made for TV shows. It's not made for live events.So anyways, I was resistant to it, but I did it anyway.

It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.