There's no such thing, of course, as an old-fashioned gay guy. They're the most decadent people.

Our passions may be compared to certain slaves--the more severity we show them, the better they obey us.

I don't know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it's fun to watch either one of them get beat up.

Were there no fools, there would be no flatterers.

I've been in theaters. Like Brian Regan, who I love - loved him so much more when he did the Improvs. And then in a big theater - nobody's that good.

The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.

It is the folly of weak-minded people, to imagine they are what flattery or conceit represents them; and that it is useless for them to be what they are not, since they seem already to have acquired the reputation of it.