Few are more unhappy than those who have great ambition, but little energy to urge it into activity.

We are happy at the respect others pay our favorites, because we consider it a lively confirmation of our own choice, and as so much homage reflected on ourselves.

When I was a kid, everybody that played golf was an old man. Until Tiger showed up, they weren't in very good shape.

It got very tedious saying the same jokes in the same way with the same attitude.

Enjoyment inflames love in some men, and extinguishes it in others: the wind that assists large vessels, upsets small ones.

I tried to make the punchline as close to the setup as I could. And I thought that was the perfect thing. If I could make the setup and the punchline identical to each other, I would create a different kind of joke.

Violent people usually express their love of a thing by their hatred of its opposite.