The promises we break are usually such as we are most forward in making.

Actually, with those dirty movies, I find like, they're good for about fifteen, twenty minutes. I'm really interested. And, then, uh, there's one point, that all of a sudden I'm bored. You know? I just lose interest completely and I feel deeply ashamed.

There's no such thing, of course, as an old-fashioned gay guy. They're the most decadent people.

It is easier to hate those we love, than love those whom we have hated.

I'm a huge sports fan but have no interest in minutiae. I don't remember who won Super Bowls five years ago or listen to sports talk radio.

Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.

I'm not original, but I strive toward it as much as possible. I tried really hard on Weekend Update to do something that I considered original, which was, I tried to cut all cleverness out of the joke.