Kenny G has a Christmas album out this year. Hey, happy birthday Jesus! Hope you like crap!

I'm not gay, so I don't know much about Broadway musicals.

I have a little bit of an out-of-body experience where I enjoy the scenario, and I really do like seeing a crowd turn into a mob, and I do nothing to stop it. People can become really dangerous.

Hypocrisy is the outward acknowledgment of inward shame.

I just like doing standup, that's all I'm interested in or good at.

You ever be having a really good dream, and then, uh- right in the middle of the dream you wake up, right in the best part of the dream? And there you are, back in your stinkin' life again? Man, that's rough, eh?

We are often less grieved at disappointments than at ourselves for having said much concerning the certainty of our expectations.