Few people love with the violence they hate.

It's a very odd thing with Hollywood, where you do stand-up, you're good at it, then they go, "How would you like to be a horrible actor?" Then you say, "All right, that sounds good. I'll do that."

I would love to stay at SNL forever. But you can't stay in the same place. People think you're a loser.

I think clever people think that poor people are stupid.

As evacuation eases the body, so occasional ejectment of passion seems to appease the agonies of the soul, and dispose to tranquility the agitations of the heart.

It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.

If you desire praise or esteem, endeavor to merit it.