Sleep is perverse as human nature, Sleep is perverse as a legislature, Sleep is as forward as hives or goiters, And where it is least desired, it loiters.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. The highest form of wisdom is to get drunk and go to pieces. Candy is dandy But liquor is quicker.

Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun when you set about retiring them.

I don't care how unkind the things people say about me so long as they don't say them to my face.

Some people's money is merited and other people's is inherited.

The dog is man's best friend. He has a tail on one end. Up in front he has teeth. And four legs underneath.