The codfish is a staple food For which I'm seldom in the mood. This fish is such an utter loss That people eat it with egg sauce.

How confusing the beams from memory's lamp are; One day a bachelor, the next a grampa. What is the secret of the trick? How did I get so old so quick?

Remorse is violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.