The codfish is a staple food For which I'm seldom in the mood. This fish is such an utter loss That people eat it with egg sauce.

I'm like a backward berry, Unripened on the vine, For all my friends are fifty, And I'm only forty-nine.

A husband is a man who two minutes after his head touches the pillow is snoring like an overloaded omnibus.

He without benefit of scruples - His fun and money soon quadruples.

Then here's to the heartening wassail, Wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.

I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.