I like the effect drink has on me. What's the point of staying sober?

I like to give my inhibitions a bath now and then.

You get so weak from eating pears that you fall down, and then they come and take you away on a stretcher.

I would much rather end up a fertiliser under a sunflower which is eventually made into sunflower seed oil so that instead of nibbling me in her prawn cocktail, the pretty girl will rub me on her bristols as she suns herself on a beach in the Caribbean.

I've been drinking. Now I'm going to drink some more.

Even though people say Richard Harris and I have been having a great feud, it's not true.

I have made many serious statements - I just can't remember any of them. I guess they mustn't have been very important.