In your walks about London you will sometimes see bent, haggard figures that look as if they had recently been caught in some powerful machinery. They are those fellows who got mixed up with Catsmeat when he was meaning well.

A man who has spent most of his adult life trying out a series of patent medicines is always an optimist.

I may as well tell you, here and now, that if you are going about the place thinking things pretty, you will never make a modern poet. Be poignant, man, be poignant!

I suppose he must have taken about a nine or something in hats. Shows what a rotten thing it is to let your brain develop too much.

When it comes to letting the world in on the secrets of his heart, he has about as much shrinking reticence as a steam calliope.

Birds, except when broiled and in the society of a cold bottle, bored him stiff.

A girl who bonnets a policeman with an ashcan full of bottles is obviously good wife-and-mother timber.