If you could call the thing a horse. If it hadn't shown a flash of speed in the straight, it would have got mixed up with the next race.

I never want to see anyone, and I never want to go anywhere or do anything. I just want to write.

Statisticians estimate that crime among good golfers is lower than in any class of the community except possibly bishops.

Chumps always make the best husbands. All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains.

The drowsy stillness of the afternoon was shattered by what sounded to his strained senses like G.K. Chesterton falling on a sheet of tin.

This Vladimir Brusiloff to whom I have referred was the famous Russian novelist. . . . Vladimir specialized in gray studies of hopeless misery, where nothing happened till page three hundred and eighty, when the moujik decided to commit suicide. . . . Cuthbert was an optimist at heart, and it seemed to him that, at the rate at which the inhabitants of that interesting country were murdering one another, the supply of Russian novelists must eventually give out.

I'm bound to say that New York's a topping place to be exiled in. Everybody was awfully good to me, and there seemed to be plenty of things going on, and I'm a wealthy bird, so everything was fine.