Adam Smith's huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.

In Japan people drive on the left. In China people drive on the right. In Vietnam it doesn't matter.

Politicians are wonderful people as longa as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.

I figured if I could put together being funny about stuff and actual events, maybe I could do something that wasn't being done much. Because the reporters that I met out there were funny, and they had hilarious stories that just didn't fit in the AP/UPI/New York Times foreign-correspondent style. They couldn't use the things they had. But I could.

There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages.

Farm policy, although it's complex, can be explained. What it can't be is believed. No cheating spouse, no teen with a wrecked family car, no mayor of Washington, D.C., videotaped in flagrante delicto has ever come up with anything as farfetched as U.S. farm policy.