Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
A cocktail party is what you call it when you invite everyone you know to come over to your house at six p.m., put cigarettes out on your rug, and leave at eight to go somewhere more interesting for dinner without inviting you.
When a thing defies physical law, there's usually politics involved.
The very existence of the bicycle is an offense to reason and wisdom.
Self-interest leads to honing your skills, the better to trade with.
Every pleasure you forgoe on Earth is a pleasure you won't get in heaven.