Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year.

A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It's a promissory note that doesn't actually promise anything. It's not backed by gold or silver.

The Tenth Commandment sends a message to socialists, to collectivists, to people who believe that wealth is best obtained by redistribution, and that message is clear and concise . . . Egalitarianism is sinful; it's also cowardly.

Very little is known of the Canadian country since it is rarely visited by anyone but the Queen and illiterate sport fishermen.

A dugout is much superior to a conventional manufactured canoe because you can get soaking wet without bothering to capsize it.

Politics is the art of achieving prestige and power without merit.

There is parody, when you make fun of people who are smarter than you; satire, when you make fun of people who are richer than you; and burlesque, when you make fun of both while taking your clothes off.