The problem isn't a Congress that won't cut spending or a president who won't raise taxes. The problem is an American public with a bottomless sense of entitlement to federal money.

We had a choice between Democrats who couldn't learn from the past and Republicans who couldn't stop living in it.

Violence is interesting. This is a great obstacle to world peace and also to more thoughtful television programming.

Some jobs are worse than actual wives. Ad agency vs. Matrimony, for instance: Even the most capricious and demanding spouse is not going to divorce you for refusing to spend forty hours a week making up lies about toilet paper.

Normally, the job sucks but work is kinda fun, because you see your friends and flirt with girls and stuff.

When politics are used to allocate resources, the resources all end up being allocated to politics.

Government isn't a good way to solve problems ... [G]overnment is concerned mostly with self-perpetuation and is subject to fantastic ideas about its own capabilities. ... [G]overnment is wasteful of the nation's resources, immune to common sense and subject to pressure from every half-organized bouquet of assholes. ... [G]overnment is distrustful of and disrespectful toward average Americans while being easily gulled by Americans with money, influence or fame.