Wearing a hat implies that you are bald if you are a man and that your hair is dirty if you are a woman.
P. J. O'RourkeGolf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.
P. J. O'RourkeWhatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
P. J. O'RourkeIt's better to make fun of yourself because you've always got someone around to make fun of, and they can't sue you.
P. J. O'RourkeThe weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person.
P. J. O'RourkeMaybe it's understandable what a history of failures America's foreign policy has been. We are, after all, a country full of people who came to America to get away from foreigners. Any prolonged examination of the U.S. government reveals foreign policy to be America's miniature schnauzer -- a noisy but small and useless part of the national household.
P. J. O'Rourke