Lampoon ran out of steam in the early '80s, and wasn't able to reinvent itself because it ran out of talent. People who wanted to do this kind of stuff could suddenly make $100,000 in Hollywood right out of college.

I'm 61 years old. I'm not that fearful of the future, period. I'm not going to see that much of it.

Remember, your body needs 6 to 8 glasses of fluid daily. Straight up or on the rocks.

With Epcot Center, the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life.

I'll be 56 this year, I've got two kids, and I think it's probably time to go back to writing one-glove jokes.

Everybody wants to save the Earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes.

The typical old-fashioned diet (in the nineteenth century) was so bad it almost assembled modern dieting.