In Japan people drive on the left. In China people drive on the right. In Vietnam it doesn't matter.

What would be a road hazard anywhere else, in the Third World is probably the road.

I'm old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.

It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money.

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults as rotten SOB's given to fistfights, gunplay, and other mayhem. Kids who believe this about grownups aren't likely to argue about bedtime.

So what if I don't agree with the Democrats? What's to disagree with? They believe everything. And what they don't believe, the Republicans do. Neither of them stands for anything they believe in, anyway.

I'll pick "I'm kidding" anytime over "I'm lying."