The America's Cup is like driving your Lamborgini to the Gran Prix track to watch the charter buses race.

The only really firm rule of taste about cross dressing is that neither sex should ever wear anything they haven't yet figured out how to go to the bathroom in.

One of the problems with being a writer is that all of your idiocies are still in print somewhere. I strongly support paper recycling.

What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.

Cars would be safer on rails!

One of these suburbs is actually named Stalingrad, which goes to show that the French have learned nothing about politics since they guillotined all the smart people in 1793.

I'll pick "I'm kidding" anytime over "I'm lying."