Not being a liberal, I have very little grasp of things that I know nothing about.

You can keep the dining room clean by eating in the kitchen.

When politics are used to allocate resources, the resources all end up being allocated to politics.

What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.

The wonder is that communism lasted so long. But then again, modern poetry lasted a long time, too.

I figured if I could put together being funny about stuff and actual events, maybe I could do something that wasn't being done much. Because the reporters that I met out there were funny, and they had hilarious stories that just didn't fit in the AP/UPI/New York Times foreign-correspondent style. They couldn't use the things they had. But I could.

If a journalist shows a facility for praise he's liable to be offered a job in public relations or advertising and the next thing you know he's got a big office, a huge salary and is living in a fine home with a lovely wife and swell kids - another career blown to hell.