Who, other than a crazy person, does anything besides hang up on a robo-call? Any call, any person, anywhere, under any circumstances.

In the wake of Animal House, the stock briefly and quite wrongly shot up. So I love that movie.

A charity ball is like a dance except it's tax deductible.

Wherever there's injustice, oppression, and suffering, America will show up six months late and bomb the country next to where it's happening.

In the American political system, you're only allowed to have real ideas if it's absolutely guaranteed that you can't win an election

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television is its ephemerality.

Everything that's fun in life is dangerous. Horse races, for instance, are very dangerous. But attempt to design a safe horse and the result is a cow ... It is impossible to be alive and safe.