I didn't realize what fun it was [ been a reporter].

These were people who believed everything about the Soviet Union was perfect, but they were bringing their own toilet paper.

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us.

Abstract anger is great for rhetorical carrying on. You can go on endlessly about the post office, but it doesn't mean you're mad at your mailman.

I remember thinking cocaine was subtle until I noticed I'd been awake for three weeks and didn't know any of the naked people passed out around me.

Whenever government proposes to get involved in the regulation of trade, just be very, very careful about who's behind this proposal, what their motives are.

I don't watch much television. Yeah, that's pretty funny. I don't know where The Daily Show stand politically, do you?