Cars would be safer on rails!

In theory, taxes should be like shopping. What I buy is government services. What I pay are my taxes.

I was told to hand over my disposable lighter, to prevent, I suppose, any threat of "Do what I say or I'll light this Marlboro and you'll all die - in thirty years due to inhalation of secondhand smoke."

Intelligence collection has been given an additional bureaucracy to correct the problems created by too much bureaucracy in intelligence collection.

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.

I was never in the office [of Rolling Stone]. It was very different from Lampoon, where we spent a lot of time together socially, which is to say "drunk."

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies.