Rich white Protestant men have held on to some measure of power in America almost solely by getting women, blacks, and other disadvantaged groups to wear crippling foot fashions. This keeps them too busy with corns and bunions to compete in the job market.

It takes a lot of weapons to do good works (as Richard the Lionhearted could have told us). And this is not just a Somali problem. We have poverty and deprivation in our own country. Try standing unarmed on a street corner in Compton handing out twenty-dollar bills and see how long you last.

Visiting Future World is like opening a Chinese fortune cookie to read, "Soon you'll be finished with dinner."

Hunter S. Thompson brings a lunatic genius to ordinary events, and I bring an ordinary sensibility to lunatic events.

There isn't much room for an outsider point of view in print any more.

Every pleasure you forgoe on Earth is a pleasure you won't get in heaven.

When I became a man, I put away childish things and got more elaborate and expensive childish things from France and Japan.