You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

Never strike anyone so old, small or weak that verbal abuse would have sufficed.

I went back to bumming around New York, writing freelance stuff for Car & Driver and such.

Humor is, by its nature, more truthful than factual.

The Republican convention, an event with the intellectual content of a Guns'n'Roses lyric attended by every ofay insurance brokerin America who owns a pair of white shoes.

The free market is ugly and stupid, like going to the mall; the unfree market is just as ugly and just as stupid, except there is nothing in the mall and if you don't go there they shoot you.

The question nowadays is not what makes government work. The question is how do we make it stop.