Apparently Bolivia is the key source of lithium in the world. So we're gonna trade the Saudis for the Bolivians.

The number of American presidential candidates varies with the sunspot cycle and the phases of the moon. Being a Republican, I'm backing Hillary Clinton. Because she could lose. The reason is not that she's a woman. The reason is that she's the particular woman who taught the 4th grade class that every man in America wished he were dead in. Hillary Clinton is Lucy holding the football for Charlie Brown. Hillary Clinton is "America's ex-wife."

To grasp the true meaning of socialism, imagine a world where everything is designed by the post office, even the sleaze.

Nothing about economic growth in the United States over the course of the past 40, 50 years, during which time this has been continually happening, would indicate that we are being harmed in an overall sense by this.

If you get outside the world of show business and its satellites, there's a whole world of car nuts in the Los Angeles area.

That happy sense of purpose people have when standing up for a principle they haven't really been knocked down for yet.

Whatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very selective. It only kills the brain cells that contain good sense, shame, embarrassment, and restraint.