Humor is a terrific tool for explaining things, especially when what you're explaining is frightening or dull and complicated.

Smoking is very bad for you and should only be done because it looks so good. People who don't smoke have a terrible time finding something polite to do with their lips.

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going.

Nothing bad is going to happen to us. If we get fired, it's not failure; its a midlife vocational reassessment.

Liberalism is just Communism sold by the drink.

Political stuff is all about his [Hunter S. Thompson] reaction to a situation. And my stuff is much more externally driven.

The Soviet constitution guarantees everyone a job. A pretty scary idea, I'd say.