Humor is a terrific tool for explaining things, especially when what you're explaining is frightening or dull and complicated.

Each American embassy comes with two permanent features - a giant anti-American demonstration and a giant line for American visas. Most demonstrators spend half their time burning Old Glory and the other half waiting for green cards.

I am a journalist and, under the modern journalist's code of Olympian objectivity (and total purity of motive), I am absolved of responsibility. We journalists don't have to step on roaches. All we have to do is turn on the kitchen light and watch the critters scurry.

Fashionably amusing table manners are a matter of breaking the right rule at the right time.

Although computer-generated artificial intelligence eludes us, artificial stupidity has been perfected.

A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It's a promissory note that doesn't actually promise anything. It's not backed by gold or silver.

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.