I believe that Western civilization, after some disgusting glitches, has become almost civilized. I believe it is our first duty to protect that civilization. I believe it is our second duty to improve it. I believe it is our third duty to extend it if we can.

The Australian language is easier to learn than boat talk. It has a vocabulary of about six words.

I didn't see any NRA officials killing babies in Waco.

Some women want the strong silent type, so they can tell him to shut up and rearrange the furniture.

Politics should be limited in scope to ware, protection of property, and the occasional precautionary beheading of a member of the ruling class.

The difference between corporations and governments is governments have a monopoly on force. It's a lot easier to vote with your feet or your wallet than it is to change a government with your vote.

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.