We are a nation that worships speed and power. And for good reason. Without power we would still be part of England and everybody would be out of work... Bicycles are too slow and impuissant for a nation like ours. They belong in Czechoslovakia.

Violence is interesting. This is a great obstacle to world peace and also to more thoughtful television programming.

When you think of the good old days, think one word: dentistry.

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This is why most news about government sounds as if it were federally mandated -- serious, bulky and blandly worthwhile, like a high-fiber diet set in type.

What would annoy the most people most often? That is the true left-wing test of government intervention.

Maybe a nation that consumes as much booze and dope as we do and has our kind of divorce statistics should pipe down about "character issues."

I bought my first house because of Animal House.