I hate all sidekicks.

There's something kind of beautiful about that pure love of things. Like, "I'll show that I love the thing I love by hating everything else."

I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you.

Growing up there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. And their parents were fine. Some people are just born with bad wiring.

The process is to me is going onstage night after night after night after night until I get a new hour. And then once that hour is solidified and recorded, I move on.

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck.

Meal isn't over when I'm full. Meal's over when I hate myself.