I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185.

I can't even get three weeks off to have cosmetic surgery.

Peter Marshall: A western saddle has a curved horn on the front to hold something for the cowboy. What is it?

When I said I didn't have a cent, I didn't. I used to get annoyed with people who said they were broke when they had five dollars.

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.

My table seats eight, so that's my maximum. Having a small number of guests is the only way to generate good conversation. Besides, your whole house doesn't get wrecked that way.

I have an ulcer. It has an IQ of 185.