Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable.

Comedy is exaggerated realism. It can be stretched to the almost ludicrous, but it must always be believable.

I can't even get three weeks off to have cosmetic surgery.

I don't understand why people don't remember my name.

I'm used to living alone, and I like it that way. You become so selfish living alone...I'd make a terrible husband anyway.

I'm Liberace without a piano.

I often go on a liquid fast a couple of days a week. I never take just water. Instead, I'll have maybe six glasses of vegetable and fruit juices a day.