I may find something that looks interesting and then go on to alter the recipe by adding spices, things of my own. I also look for time-saving recipes, dishes that can be prepared ahead and stored.

My sisters said, Why do you make those faces? You make yourself so ugly.

Outsiders develop humor as a defense; why do you think most comedians are gay or Jewish?

Mothers don't want to pinch me or put me in their purse.

I'm Liberace without a piano.

The whole romantic part of my life was a wipeout. I didn't even own a belt.

I wish I had the nerve not to tip.