All disc jockeys are without talent. Noel Edmonds - I can't stand Noel Edmonds.

I have never sold my story, done Hello! magazine, any of that stuff. I'm not guilty of exploiting my private life for cash and then saying, 'Oh, I don't want to talk about my private life.' I've never crossed that line.

I was trying to organise my DVDs into a sort of chronological order, and I am afraid that it all trailed off after the Sixties.

In fact, I don't watch a lot of contemporary comedy for fear of being influenced by it.

I've never been disappointed by politicians. I've never invested that much in them in the first place.

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?

I looked at longevity in show business when I was about 13, and the people who seemed to have longevity were the ones who'd spent quite a bit of time learning about what they were doing before they made it.