It's become normal for me to walk on set as Popeye, Frankenstein or an Elf or even a chicken.

I go in the butchers and there's not a lot of meat I can eat these days, with having all the animals.

I love looking after animals. I find it very enjoyable.

Times are hard and friends are few

The worst drivers are women in people carriers, men in white vans and anyone in a baseball cap. That's just about everyone.

My primary school teacher once poured a bottle of curdled school milk forcefully down my throat. Then I threw it up all over her suede shoes. I'd rather have drunk from the spittoon in Barney's barber shop.

What was I drinking last night? Furniture polish?