My primary school teacher once poured a bottle of curdled school milk forcefully down my throat. Then I threw it up all over her suede shoes. I'd rather have drunk from the spittoon in Barney's barber shop.

Comedy, your funny bone, is formed in childhood.

If I wanted your opinion, I'd slap it outta ya.

I go in the butchers and there's not a lot of meat I can eat these days, with having all the animals.

I was a really picky eater as a child. Because I was obsessed by Popeye, my mum and aunts would put my food in a can to represent spinach and we'd hum the Popeye tune and then I'd happily eat it.

I like a Blackpool breakfast, me - 20 ciggies and a pot of tea.

I am quite happy to take a cut. You've got to, if you want to work and continue working.