I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe.

I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings.

I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

It's funny that we think of libraries as quiet demure places where we are shushed by dusty, bun-balancing, bespectacled women. The truth is libraries are raucous clubhouses for free speech, controversy and community. Librarians have stood up to the Patriot Act, sat down with noisy toddlers and reached out to illiterate adults. Libraries can never be shushed.

The definition of adulthood is that you want to sleep.

I'm thankful that my memory is good because my vision is going.