The truth is libraries are raucous clubhouses for free speech, controversy and community.

I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids.

My problem, I try to teach my kids to eat healthy food. But you get a cantaloupe, and you don't know when it's going to come of age. You have no idea - that period between when it's like, hard as a rock to when it's smushy inside, is about ten minutes.

President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself.

I talk to a lot of librarians, and there's always a steady drumbeat of how libraries are places of community. But a lot of them have also recently - and just in the nick of time - refurbished, because during this economic downturn, people have a tendency to borrow instead of buy.

I'm the only person I know of who's ever been pulled over for attempted speeding.

I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family.