I get the first flight out from anywhere I am because I have to come home to my kids.

I can make things, but I don't cook them, exactly. Like salmon, I can stick that in a pan. Or the other day I made noodles, but they were hard. It never occurred to me to check them; I just stopped cooking them when I felt they were ready. Really, I'm too absentminded.

I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.

The position of First Lady has no rules, just precedent, so its evolution has been at a virtual standstill for years. If Martha Washington didn't do it, then no one is sure it should be done.

I love talking to the audience, and I must be the luckiest performer in the world. I always land something or somebody that just takes off.

My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, 'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.'

I get in fewer arguments when I'm alone.