Gay Republicans, how exactly does that work? 'We disapprove of our own lifestyle. We beat ourselves up in parking lots.

I think we need a 12-step group for non-stop talkers. We're going to call it On and On Anon.

Remember when you were considered an environmentalist when you didn't throw junk out the car window? I sure do miss that simpler, happier time.

I love talking to the audience, and I must be the luckiest performer in the world. I always land something or somebody that just takes off.

Once I was gone for a month and I was just miserable, so I flew back from Florida for two hours just to be home and see my cats.

I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.

There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them.