I've always thought that if my death was imminent, I would read. When I can't focus on a book, I tend to keep reading the same page. My guess is, I would've read, like the first page of Nicholas Nickleby over and over again.

I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities.

When we live up to our Constitution, let's form a Conga line around the Capitol and bungee jump off the dome.

I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.