I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California.

I have jokes I've told before and will tell again, but my favorite part of the night is talking to the crowd.

My act is sort of improvisational. I have a skeleton in my head, but no fat or skin on it.

I used to work at The International House of Pancakes. It was a dream, and I made it happen.

I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.

I happen to be a devout atheist. I don't believe in God. I still go to church -- I'm not a heathen. I go to an atheist church. We have crippled guys who stand up and testify that they were crippled, and they still are.

It is the best part of the night. The classic interactive lines are 'Where are you from? What do you do for a living?' I almost always get something interesting.