Drinking: something to do while getting drunk.

Everything takes longer than you think it should, except for some things that don't take as long.

You don't get over hating to cook, any more than you get over having big feet.

What most of us are after, when we have a picture taken, is a good natural-looking picture that doesn't resemble us.

The subject of men and women is absolutely fraught with sex, which is as it should be.

You're not supposed to cuss when you're an old lady, and just when there's so much more to cuss about.

Molded salads are best served in situations where they have little or no competition ... Like television, gelatin is too often a vehicle for limp leftovers that couldn't make it anywhere else.