When there's a lot of it around, you never want it very much.

Like a chastity belt, the package tour keeps you out of mischief but a bit restive for wondering what you missed.

People would have more leisure time if it weren't for all the leisure-time activities that use it up.

There are two kinds of people in this world: the ones who don't cook out of and have NEVER cooked out of THE I HATE TO COOK BOOK, and the other kind...The I HATE TO COOK people consist mainly of those who find other things more interesting and less fattening, and so they do it as seldom as possible. Today there is an Annual Culinary Olympics, with hundreds of cooks from many countries ardently competing. But we who hate to cook have had our own Olympics for years, seeing who can get out of the kitchen the fastest and stay out the longest.

Peas went with carrots as infallibly as ham went with eggs. For years I thought carrots and peas grew on the same vine.

... I've never found anything whatsoever that is as easy to do the right way as the wrong way, and if there is such a thing I would like to know about it.

It is always a taut moment in a foreign country waiting to see if your English-speaking guide speaks English.