the most all-around, practical, long-wearing illusions are the ones that you weave yourself.

... I've never found anything whatsoever that is as easy to do the right way as the wrong way, and if there is such a thing I would like to know about it.

Life is so very simple when you have no facts to confuse you.

You're not supposed to cuss when you're an old lady, and just when there's so much more to cuss about.

It isn't surprising that many children consider their parents to be a little dim, and that they sometimes try to update them. The fact that they don't usually try too hard is just as well; a thoroughly updated parent is an unappetizing sight.

People will admit to arson and mayhem sooner than no sense of humor.

The fact is, the cocktail party has much in its favor. Going to one is a good way of indicating that you're still alive and about, if such is the case, and that you're glad other people are, without having to spend an entire evening proving it.