If you believe that there’s a heaven and hell . . . how much do you have to hate somebody to believe that everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?

Don't waste too much time wishing, hoping, and being envious; it'll make you bugnutty.

Penn & Teller stopped doing practical jokes, and the reason is we got much too good at it.

I live in Vegas, and I see people by the side of the road with cardboard signs who seem like they might have tried that spending their way out of debt thing.

Only Atheists have morals, the religious have reward and punishment. That's not morality, that's sucking up.

I'm always fascinated by the use of the first-person plural talking about sports.

We have to fight for the freedom to be stupid, and smoking is one of the best ways to fight for your freedom, to be just as stupid as you can be.