If you believe that there’s a heaven and hell . . . how much do you have to hate somebody to believe that everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?

Juggling is very, very straightforward; very, very black and white; you're manipulating objects, not people. And that's always appealed to me.

It's amazing to me how many people think that voting to have the government give poor people money is compassion. Helping poor and suffering people yourself is compassion. Voting for our government to use guns to give money to help poor and suffering people is immoral, self-righteous, bullying laziness.

If every trace of any single religion were wiped out and nothing were passed on, it would never be created exactly that way again. There might be some other nonsense in its place, but not that exact nonsense. If all of science were wiped out, it would still be true and someone would find a way to figure it all out again.

I've been fired from a situational comedy with a script they wrote specifically for me because of my voice.

I intend to do the Penn & Teller show until they pry my cheesy magic wand from my cold dead fingers.

Comedy is taken care of by a free market.