If you believe that there’s a heaven and hell . . . how much do you have to hate somebody to believe that everlasting life is possible and not tell them that?

Poker would have never gotten on TV when we only had three networks.

The first thing I said to myself on 9/11 was, 'There go our civil rights.' I found out by comparing notes later that George Carlin and I both said that at the exact same time. That's the first thing that popped into our head.

Barack Obama is way smarter than Bush - so way, way smarter than me. Obama is way more charismatic than me.

There are performers who have built their whole career doing magic on TV and can't really perform live at all - don't really have jobs and skills.

The whole world is pretending the breakthrough is in technology. The bottleneck is really in art.

Every day, TV, newspapers, and the Internet bombard us with a message that we're destroying the earth. Ice caps are melting, rivers are dying, polar bears are drowning, and trees are doing something.