When I buy Windows 98, I'm not only buying something useful, I'm giving money to Bill Gates, which is a really good thing.

The reason I'm an I.B.M.-type guy today is that I really needed a laptop back in 1986, and I just couldn't wait for the Powerbook.

Better to be uneducated than educated by your government.

When you're watching Psycho, there' s that moment when you have a visceral reaction to watching someone being stabbed. And then you have the intellectual revelation that you're not, and that's where the celebration comes in.

It's fair to say that the Bible contains equal amounts of fact, history, and pizza.

I believe very much that the most damning thing you can say about Muslims is that you're afraid to say anything because they'll hurt you.

I think people under age 55 come to Vegas with a certain sense of irony.