If there are two things Penn & Teller stand for, it's the truth & lying, although not necessarily in that order.

Atheism is the absence of religion. We don’t really need atheism. We just need to get rid of religion.

We have to fight for the freedom to be stupid, and smoking is one of the best ways to fight for your freedom, to be just as stupid as you can be.

You have in Vegas the most heterogeneous audience you're gonna get anywhere in the country. In Boston, Chicago, Miami, you know who goes to the theater. In Vegas, you have people who only see one theater show a year, and it's in Vegas.

If there's something you really want to believe, that's what you should question the most.

The secret truth of 'Celebrity Apprentice' is that it isn't very hard... 'Celebrity Apprentice' is easy like junior high is easy. All the arithmetic, the creative writing and the history are super simple, but like junior high, you do that easy work surrounded by people who are full-tilt, hormone-raging bug nutty.

Don't waste too much time wishing, hoping, and being envious; it'll make you bugnutty.