A lot of older parents worry about being older parents. I hear people say, 'I don't want to be too old to play baseball with my son.' They worry that their kids will be embarrassed by their parents' age.

You can't stop insane people from doing insane things with insane laws. That's insane!

The definition of a stupid thing is something that if you do everything right, you still get hurt. Fire-eating and love are stupid things.

I believe very much that the most damning thing you can say about Muslims is that you're afraid to say anything because they'll hurt you.

I like to read in the dark. I like to go into the bathtub, turn out all the lights, and in the dark, read my books.

Having a Hummer is stupid. It's stupid to waste that much gas. It's stupid to waste that much money on gas. It's stupid to parade your insecurities on public roads. Hummers are stupid-looking.

Tolerance is you saying something crazy and me smiling and saying, 'That's nice.'