Bacon is so good by itself that to put it in any other food is an admission of failure. You're basically saying, 'I can't make this other food taste good, so I'll throw in bacon.'

I intend to do the Penn & Teller show until they pry my cheesy magic wand from my cold dead fingers.

Better to be uneducated than educated by your government.

'Psycho' is fascinating philosophically, because the point of 'Psycho' is that everything that's bad happens because of love.

God works in mysterious, inefficient, and breathtakingly cruel ways

You have two choices with Obama. You either believe that he is a man of Christ... or you think he's a liar. And I'm surprised by the number of atheist free thinkers that support Obama, and their argument is essentially, 'He's lying about being religious 'cause you have to do that to get elected.' It's a horrible reason to like somebody.

To drive a car in rural America is freedom. Before I had a car, I'd never seen a rock and roll show, I'd never seen a comic or a show.