Bacon is so good by itself that to put it in any other food is an admission of failure. You're basically saying, 'I can't make this other food taste good, so I'll throw in bacon.'

Modern American magic, late 20th century magic, is tremendously disrespectful of the audience.

Technology adds nothing to art. Two thousand years ago, I could tell you a story, and at any point during the story I could stop, and ask, 'Now do you want the hero to be kidnapped, or not?' But that would, of course, have ruined the story. Part of the experience of being entertained is sitting back and plugging into someone else's vision.

If I were trying to avoid embarrassment, I wouldn't have stumbled my way through 'Dancing with the Stars.'

'Celebrity Apprentice' has more integrity and is the most straightforward show I've ever seen.

The vast majority of the world knows there's no reason to circumcise. Someone should tell the doctors.

Jay-Z, he knows precisely who he's going for - 14-year-old white suburban girls.